Why Rewards Do More Harm Than Good
Why Rewards Do More Harm Than Good : 1. It drains a child's intrinsic motivation. We want our kids to do the right thing for the right reasons, not for hope for a reward or fear of punishment. 2. Children ARE good people. We don't have to bribe, threaten or manipulate them to turn them into good people. When they don't behave in expected ways, it's because there's something in the 'way'. As parents, we're responsible for clearing the way so they can return to their goodness. 3. Behavior is a language. When you rush to fix just the behavior, you don't uncover the CAUSE of the behavior which is either an unmet need or an undeveloped skill. What you instead end up doing is shutting down a channel (sometimes a child's only channel) of communication. 4. It's a form of coercive control that carries the message that a parent's love/approval comes with conditions. 5. Every time your goal is compliance instead of COOPERATION, you're in a sta...